17 MORE UNNATURAL SHOCKS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO: (Only 907 to go!)

-Head-on collisions between text messaging pedestrians. (Thanks, Abner).
-LEGO-shaped fun snacks--to confuse kids everywhere about what to put in their mouths and what not to!
-The permanent campaign model of the Presidency.
-The walking cane as ironic hipster accoutrement.
-Jeans with holes in them costing more than jeans without holes in them.
-The use of Glade as a drug.
-The fact that amputated legs of albino human beings are now considered a good luck charm in Indonesia.
-McCain's applause line "smile" aka rictus aka facial misfire.
-Impeachment for lying about a blowjob but not for lying about a war.
-Paying $11 for the right to watch a half hour of promos and ads in the movie theater.
-A man auctioning off his life on Ebay.
-A very conventional production of Hamlet with an entirely unscripted ending.
- That some black people are evidently considering voting for John McCain.
-The Chrysler Building and the Flatiron Building being foreign-owned.
-A Pregnant Man.
-Ron Paul ending his presidential campaign.
-Doc Rivers outcoaching Phil Jackson.
-Athletes using Viagra as a performance enhancer.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2008/06/09/2008-06-09_source_roger_clemens_host_of_athletes_po.html

(And I thought that whole "I take it so I can score whenever the manager puts me in the game" business was metaphorical!)

LFAQs:

Hmm. How do you run with an anvil in your pants?

Weird thing. I see on intrade that Hillary being the Dem. Nominee is still trading at 5% likely. Is there any way to read that other than translating into a 5% likelihood of Obama being assassinated?

Is it racist to suggest that any black person in America who votes for McCain should cease to be considered a...

Continue reading SHOCKS BOTH NATURAL AND UNNATURAL IN A SHOCKINGLY LONG AND LONG OVERDUE POST. after the jump

Once again old world met new last night with the splendid products of Northern Italy featured at a Seminario Del Gusto, or tasting dinner, hosted by Francesco Bettoni, president of Confagricoltura Lombardia at the Flatiron District's Bar Stuzzichini. With four courses prepared by Chef Paul Di Bari, some intriguing D.O.C. wines from Franciacorta and Oltrepo'Pavese were presented by noted wine expert David Lynch.
Obviously no Lombardy event would be possible without enormous wheels of Grana Padano, which was served with Crostini di Bresaola and a refreshing Cá del Bosco Franciacorta DOCG Brut NV. With 75% Chardonnay grapes, this Cá del Bosco has undergone a dramatic transformation, perhaps due in large part to its repackaging as well as the rebranding of its distributor over a year ago from Paterno to Terlato Wines International. The Cá del Bosco is well-paired with summer appetizers such as Bruschetta con Crema di Ceci (chickpea cream) or a heavy grilled polenta with melted DOP Gorgonzola. (More on the Gorgonzola later.) Here we spotted our old friend Lou of Di Palo Fine Foods, a tireless champion of Italian products and a stalwart presence in Little Italy. Lou informs us he will be expanding his store and feature Italian wines in a brand-new shop next door later this summer.

A first course of Risotto di Carnaroli DOP with Zucchini Flowers reminded us that the Pinot noir of Italy, much of which is unavailable in the United States, deserves closer attention. Lynch noted that 4000 hectares of Pinot noir can be found in Italy, and the Oltrepo'Pavese, approximately 30 miles south of Milan, is the third most productive DOC in Italy. Lynch does not exaggerate when he calls the Oltrepo'Pavese "one of the best P...

Continue reading SPECIALTIES OF LOMBARDY: CONFAGRICOLTURA LOMBARDIA AT BAR STUZZICHINI after the jump

Seen across from General Theological Seminary.

Q: But will the DOT asphalt truck and Sanitation truck make realistic loud noises in front of your apartment building at 3 a.m.?

Seen on West 22 Street

Newsday's Andrew Strickler reports: New York City's most infamous transit fanatic was arrested yet again Saturday morning in the Columbus Circle station after he was spotted wearing a transit-worker-like outfit and entering a restricted area, New York City police said.

Darius McCollum, 43, who has been repeatedly arrested for impersonating subway and train personnel, was wearing a blue worker's outfit and gloves bearing a NYC Transit patch when transit cops saw him at the Times Square station.

The officers, who recognized McCollum from his frequent run-ins with police and the MTA, followed him as he got on an uptown No. 1 train and got off at Columbus Circle.

He was arrested when he pushed aside a barricade in the station and entered a restricted area shortly after 2 a.m., police said.

McCollum, of East Elmhurst, who was profiled in Harper's Magazine and inspired a stage play, became a minor cult figure in the 1990s after he was arrested more than a dozen times for impersonating train personnel, stealing MTA buses, and other crimes in and around public transit.

McCollum, who is believed to have memorized the city's subway lines as a child, also spent time in prison after he pleaded guilty to trying to steal a Long Island Rail Road train.

On Saturday, police said, McCollum was carrying a hard hat, a flashlight, a screwdriver and other tools, and "sensitive" transit documents. He was charged with criminal impersonation, criminal trespass and possession of burglar tools.

McCollum was being held Saturday in a holding cell in the Columbus Circle station.

Copyright © 2008, Newsday Inc.

Note all that cool new street furniture that blocks off papparazzi
from driving SUVs through MePa District.

LETTER OF THE DAY:

I wrote the following letter to the NYT based on an observation previously made in this blog and, since it appears that they have decided not to publish it, I figured I'd post it here:

Recently, the U.S. Army confirmed that more U.S. soldiers had killed themselves in 2007 than in any year on record ("Suicide Rate for Soldiers Rose in '07", NYT 5/30). Of the 115 U.S. Army suicides reported, 32 of them had been committed by troops stationed in Iraq. While it is difficult to find figures to confirm this, it appears that -in what would be an excruciating irony--the number of troops who committed suicide in Iraq last year may very well be greater than the number of troops who were killed by suicide bombers.

Could one possibly ask for a more acute indictment of the moral clarity of our mission or of the material and mental preparedness of those brave individuals whom we've asked to carry it out?

Tragically, despite empty symbolic appeals on bumpers everywhere, we are not supporting our troops.

MORE UNNATURAL SHOCKS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO: (Only 924 to go!)

Seeing the house you grew up in from the instantly accessible, totally impersonal perspective of satellite Google maps.

The Swiftboating-Waterboarding Axis of "Good."

The permanent campaign model of the Presidency.

The walking cane as ironic hipster accoutrement.

Jeans with holes in them costing more than jeans without holes in them.

Those Existenz ads that run during ESPN Sportscenter for a supplement that makes "a certain part of the male anatomy larger." (I suspect that in order to meet the legal standards for truth in advertising, that they do indeed make a certain part of the male anatomy larger: Only that part is the liver or kidney.)

The greasy film left in your mouth after a meal at Qdoba.

Continue reading 15 MORE UNNATURAL SHOCKS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO AND SOME OTHER STUFF after the jump

ONLY 939 UNNATURAL SHOCKS TO GO!!!.

A bunch more unnatural shocks towards the realization of our glorious goal of 1000!!!

"Heckuva Job, Brownie"
Celebrity Super-Premium bottled waters
The Electoral College
The fact that the mirror that Michael Jackson looked into in "Man in the Mirror" didn't crack.
The sudden prominence of Xantham.
Plot spoilers in Coming Attractions and Movie Reviews
The comedic success of Carlos Mencia
Cheetos
Below the line advertising efforts/Paid undercover brand ambassadors.
Greg Popovich’s miraculously disappearing baldspot.
Bill Clinton going from being the first black president to the last racist president.
The distractingly variegated Chevron billboard in left field at the San Francisco Giant's AT&T Park
The corporatization of culture that leads to Candlestick Park becoming PacBell Park becoming AT&T Park and Cominskey Park becoming U.S. Cellular Stadium etc.
Randy Sowder passing up a contested jumpshot.

POLITICAL THOUGHTS OF THE DAY:

Really striking how gracious and big spirited Obama was in giving his historic speech last night and how myopically, defiantly. pettily egotistical Hillary was in refusing to concede what had already been lost. Sort of sad that the race between two excellent candidates devolved into a race between "an African-American man" and a "White woman"--and while I will not pile on the Clintons when they are down, I definitely hold them largely responsible for that becoming the case. Loved the fist bump Michelle "She's hot!" Obama gave her hubby on stage. That's gotta be the coolest moment in American political history.

(The gesture was every bit as hot as it was cool and suggested the radical possibility of a President and First Lady who actually enjoy having sex. With each other!!!)

But a few more w...

Continue reading MORE UNNATURAL SHOCKS, OBAMA'S VICTORY, MICHELLE OBAMA'S FIST BUMP, BOB DYLAN'S LAWYERS , BABY MAKE WEE-WEE AND MORE after the jump